If you’re researching autism services, you’ve likely come across Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy. ABA therapy is often described as the “gold standard” of autism treatment and many pediatricians recommend it as the default path.

But if you’re a parent, you may have also heard another side: the growing criticism of traditional in-center or in-home ABA, concerns about the goals of ABA, questions about its intensity, and stories from autistic adults who felt harmed rather than helped. It can feel confusing and overwhelming to decide if ABA therapy, an alternative to ABA therapy or something else is what’s right for your child.

What is ABA therapy?

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a structured approach that uses the principles of learning—such as reinforcement, prompting, and practice—to teach new skills and support behavior change. It has been shown to help children learn things like using words or communicating using AAC devices, brushing teeth, or reducing concerning behaviors. Research indicates that ABA can support learning and independence for some autistic children, especially in targeted skill areas.

ABA typically emphasizes teaching skills by breaking them into small, manageable steps and providing supports or feedback to help children succeed. Historically, many programs have focused heavily on increasing compliance with adult directions or meeting broader societal expectations. For example, some programs have targeted reducing or eliminating “stimming” behaviors (like hand-flapping or rocking), which are harmless ways many autistic people regulate their emotions or sensory experiences. While this kind of focus can be effective for achieving compliance with external norms, it has raised concerns that children may lose important self-regulation strategies in the process.

Some ABA programs prescribe 20 or more hours per week (and even up to 40 hours a week) of in-center or in-home services, a level of intensity that may feel overwhelming or rigid for many families. When therapy dominates daily life, parents may feel that family routines and their child’s natural joy are overshadowed by structured sessions. Many autistic individuals and their families—particularly self-advocates—have expressed that compliance-focused approaches can prioritize helping children “fit in” to a neurotypical world over fostering autonomy, self-advocacy, and well-being. For instance, traditional ABA sometimes emphasized teaching children to make eye contact on command, even when it was uncomfortable or distracting, rather than supporting more meaningful ways of connecting and communicating. Critics note that these kinds of goals often focus on changing outward behaviors without equally prioritizing children’s own needs, comfort, and self-expression.

What defines ABA or an alternative to ABA, anyways?

It’s important to remember that ABA does not look the same across providers. Some therapies may use behavioral principles (like reinforcement, prompting, and systematic teaching) but look very different from the highly structured sessions many parents imagine. What often defines these approaches are their goals — what skills or behaviors are being targeted — and that’s an important thing for families to pay attention to when considering whether a therapy aligns with their values and priorities.

Speech therapists, psychologists and counselors, play therapists, and occupational therapists often incorporate behavioral strategies into their sessions in ways that do not look like ABA. In fact, you probably use some behavioral principles without even knowing it! Imagine a child brings a toy car to their parent and pushes it across the floor. The parent smiles, picks up another car, and pushes it back, making a fun “vroom!” sound. The child laughs and pushes their car again. Each time the child initiates, the parent joins in enthusiastically, responding in a way that’s fun and meaningful to the child. In this exchange, the parent is using natural reinforcement — the joy of play, the back-and-forth game, and shared laughter — to encourage the child to keep engaging. Instead of offering a sticker or treat, the parent reinforces reciprocal interaction by making the social exchange itself rewarding.

This means when families search for “alternatives to ABA,” they may actually encounter therapies still informed by the science of behavior — but delivered in more natural, flexible, and developmentally sensitive ways.

Blending the best of behavioral and developmental science: a contemporary approach

The reality is, no single therapy works for every child. Many modern providers — including Avela Health — combine elements of behavioral science (e.g., using child-centered and naturalistic principles) with developmental principles (e.g., child-led play). At Avela Health we also incorporate proven approaches drawn from clinical psychology and draw interdisciplinary providers in to support a child and family, such as speech pathologists, nutritionists, and occupational therapists.   

ABA therapy is the most common — and most well known — autism intervention. But traditional in-center, high dose ABA therapy isn’t the only option. Families deserve clear information, the ability to weigh alternatives, and the freedom to choose care that fits their child’s needs and values.

Tips for choosing a good provider for autism services

When it comes to supporting your child, the most important factor isn’t the therapy label — it’s how the provider works with your child and your family. Autistic self-advocates often highlight the following things to look for:

  • Respect for Autonomy: Does the provider value your child’s choices, preferences, and comfort? Therapy should build skills without forcing compliance for its own sake.
  • Focus on Joy and Connection: Autistic individuals emphasize that learning happens best when children feel safe, connected, and happy. Look for providers who create playful, enjoyable interactions instead of rigid drills.
  • Support for Communication in Any Form: Whether it’s speech, gestures, AAC, or other methods, a good provider honors all forms of communication and encourages your child to express themselves in ways that work for them.
  • Collaboration with Families: Therapy should feel like a partnership. Ask how providers involve parents and caregivers in setting goals and strategies, and whether they respect your insights about your child.
  • Attention to Well-Being, Not Just Behavior: Many autistic adults stress that therapy should support self-regulation, self-advocacy, and well-being — not only reduce behaviors others see as “challenging.”
  • Flexibility Over Intensity: A good provider adapts sessions to fit your child’s needs and your family’s life, rather than insisting on a rigid schedule or a one-size-fits-all intensity.
  • Another important consideration is how progress is measured. Autistic individuals often share that what matters most is not whether a child stops certain behaviors, but whether the child and family feel life is becoming easier, happier, and more connected.
  • Commitment to Neurodiversity: Providers who respect neurodiversity view autism as a difference, not something to “fix.” They aim to help your child thrive as themselves, not mold them into someone they’re not.

Bottom line: True progress is when your child feels more capable and confident, and your family feels more connected and supported. Numbers on a chart matter less than whether your child’s quality of life is improving.