Finding the right therapy for your neurodivergent child can be difficult. There are many options and modalities out there. Some types of therapy try to eliminate “problem behaviors” but are not necessarily focused on teaching children the psychological strength and flexibility to be able to cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs.

How does ACT for kids work? 

DNA-V is short for Discoverer, Noticer, Advisor, and Values. Think of these as a kid-friendly cast of characters running the mind. The Discoverer is an inner explorer who encourages kids to look around and explore their world and strengths. The Noticer is like an inner observer– it teaches kids to tune into their bodies, emotions, and sensations and accept them as-is without getting overwhelmed. The Advisor is the voice of experience. It helps identify and manage internal thoughts, especially rule-based or critical self-talk that can trigger anxiety.  Values (in this model) is like an inner compass. It empowers kids to find what’s most important and helps them to move toward it. These tools work together to lead to Valued Living, helping build both resilience and self-acceptance. 

Why ACT for kids can be a good fit for autistic youth

This approach to therapy emphasizes acceptance, emotional awareness, and values-based living rather than trying to make someone appear more neurotypical. It provides a compassionate, nonjudgmental approach for autistic kids and encourages feelings of social safety which makes it easier for them to connect with their therapist (Wassner, 2024). Feeling emotionally safe and understood can make it easier for children and teens to engage in therapy and practice new skills.

The purpose is to help develop flexible strength in order to persist in doing the things a person really cares about and to let go of the things that are making life more difficult (Hayes, L., Ciarrochi, J, & Bailey, A. (n.d.). It focuses less on changing who a person is and more on what matters most to them. DNA-V has been used successfully with a variety of ages and populations and can be a good fit for autistic children and teens. It is not about eliminating autistic traits or teaching children to be neurotypical. It honors individuality and recognizes strengths. 

How ACT for kids helps neurodivergent youth

This approach to therapy provides support for common challenges that autistic kids might experience. Some examples are: 

Recognizing and navigating masking

We can help autistic youth navigate through the difficulties presented by masking, or hiding one’s differences to try to “fit in.” Masking is exhausting because it involves putting energy into suppressing natural traits in order to appear more neurotypical, and it comes at a high cost– tabling one’s own needs. The vigilance required for masking can lead to anxiety and negative self-perception (Chapman, et al, 2022). Using this approach to therapy helps autistic kids to notice masking and encourages them to better understand and accept their unique traits rather than try to change or get rid of them.  

It is not about forcing children to tolerate overwhelming situations without support. Accommodations, regulation supports, collaboration, and emotional safety still matter. The focus instead is on helping children and teens build awareness and flexibility while honoring their needs and experiences.

Self-compassion instead of self-criticism

Developing self-compassion is often a gradual process, especially for children and teens who have spent significant time feeling misunderstood. Being able to normalize our human imperfections, treating yourself as you would a friend, and noticing that what your inner critic is saying is “just static” are all things that can lead to more self-compassion. ACT for kids is all about helping autistic kids learn to do this in ways that are approachable and fun. 

Increasing flexibility 

Some kids experience difficulty identifying and describing feelings, which can impact emotion regulation (Mazefsky & White, 2014). This therapeutic approach focuses on accepting feelings and physical sensations. That way, children don’t get bogged down by the need to try to explain them. Being able to engage in a mindful observation without the pressure can be very freeing.  

This may help autistic children and teens build greater emotional awareness, flexibility, and self-compassion while supporting families in identifying and moving toward what matters most to them.

Can it help parents, too?

Because ACT was designed for adults, parents of children who are working with a therapist using ACT for Kids (DNA-V) learn skills too. Parents learn how to use these same tools themselves to model psychological flexibility, unhooking from unproductive thoughts, and staying connected to what matters most. In fact, researchers have found that it can help improve parents’ well being, too (Maughan, et al, 2024). ACT helps parents build emotional resilience and stay aligned with their values to best support their child, even when it is their child who is receiving care.

A shared family language

One real benefit of this approach is that it provides an accessible, shared language that parents and children can use together to talk about difficult emotions and choices without judgement. For example, instead of a parent telling their child to “stop worrying” they might say “is your Advisor telling you a scary story?” which separates the child from the anxiety. Additionally, a child might say “my Noticer is screaming that this room is too loud” to share their physical need without it escalating to a meltdown.

Daily life is simplified

Another benefit is that it can reduce a neurodivergent youth’s cognitive load. Choosing between the four clear concepts (Discoverer, Noticer, Advisor, and Values) takes much less mental energy than a more complex explanation of emotions. Using these terms as a family also creates consistency and predictability, which can lower anxiety and improve communication and connection within the family. It can even build parental empathy by looking at their own behavior through this lens. Parents can notice their behavior and self-correct in a way that makes sense to their child which serves as a model for them.  

Key takeaways

  • DNA-V is a neurodiversity-affirming approach that supports individuality and self-acceptance. 
  • The primary goal of DNA-V is to develop flexible strength which helps individuals develop resilience against anxiety and burnout by teaching them how to “bend with life’s challenges” and align with what matters to them (values). 
  • DNA-V simplifies emotional complexity by replacing jargon with kid-friendly concepts: Discoverer, Noticer, Advisor, and Values.
  • DNA-V offers support for specific challenges neurodivergent youth often face, including navigating the emotional exhaustion of masking, managing big feelings and by teaching self-compassion.
  • Parents are encouraged to use the same tools and language alongside their children to model and reinforce learning. 
  • By adopting this framework as a shared family language, families can foster consistent communication, reduce cognitive load, and increase empathy.

References

Chapman L, Rose K, Hull L, Mandy W. (2022). “I want to fit in… but I don’t want to change myself fundamentally”: A qualitative exploration of the relationship between masking and mental health for autistic teenagers, Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, Volume 99, 2022,102069,ISSN1750-9467. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946722001568

Hayes, L., Ciarrochi, J, & Bailey, A. (n.d.) DNAV International. DNA-V for Young People. https://dnav.international/dna-v-for-youth/

Maughan AL, Lunsky Y, Lake J, Mills JS, Fung K, Steel L, Weiss JA. (2024). Parent, child, and family outcomes following Acceptance And Commitment Therapy for parents of autistic children: A randomized controlled trial. Autism. 2024 Feb;28(2):367-380. doi: 10.1177/13623613231172241. Epub 2023 May 11. PMID: 37165863; PMCID: PMC10851654.

Mazefsky CA, White SW. (2014). Emotion regulation: concepts & practice in autism spectrum disorder. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am. 2014 Jan;23(1):15-24. doi: 10.1016/j.chc.2013.07.002. Epub 2013 Aug 30. PMID: 24231164; PMCID: PMC3830422.

Wassner, J. (2024). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Children: Applications and Strategies for Anxiety, Depression, Autism, ADHD, OCD, and More. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.